What does it mean when you dream of dating someone
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19 Nov 2022 06:50:04 pm.
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What does it mean when you dream of dating someone
But before attempting to understand why you might dream about someone, it’s important to consider what exactly a dream is first. "A study done in Germany found that a dream is the equivalent of a data dump between the hippocampus (your brain’s browser) and the neocortex (the memory). So, dreams are the hippocampus clearing the browser for the day, prepping your brain for the next day," says Christina Jeffrey, a licensed mental health counselor and Assistant Director at Humantold, a New York-based psychotherapy service. "Understood through a more traditional psychotherapy lens, a dream is a conversation between your conscious and unconscious minds—an opportunity to explore fears and the forbidden."
So, what does it mean when someone shows up in this so-called mind conversation? "On some level—maybe consciously, maybe subconsciously—your mind is focused on a person, and your brain is dumping that image as you sleep," Jeffrey explains.
Often, this happens when there are unresolved emotions or dialogues that need to be explored; if you’re unable to do this when you're awake, the dream state will step in to help you express yourself, resolve conflict, or release emotional baggage. "But ultimately, I believe that dreams are about what we make of them, the meaning we assign to them, and the attendant feelings that arise along with that meaning," she adds.
How can the people you interact with influence your dreams?
If you’ve ever had individuals you’ve seen or thought about in waking hours pop up in your dreams, you’re not alone. Oh, and—get this—you don't even need to know a person for them to live rent-free in your dreamland. "What you witness or ingest by way of media or interactions with others can show up in your sleep... particularly when it is vivid or one of the last things we see in the day," Jeffrey notes. So, if you watch The Notebook before bed, don’t be surprised if Ryan Gosling co-stars in your dream that night (and what a dream that would be!).
To keep your dreams pure and unaffected by outside media, the counselor suggests setting healthy sleep boundaries for yourself—turning off screens an hour before bed, using discretion with what you view or read, and establishing a regular bedtime—to ensure that you’re getting the best quality zzz's possible.
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The tone of what you do can also heavily impact the tone of your dreams. "Activities that are relaxing and therapeutic like yoga, journaling, or spending time with loved ones can bode for a peaceful sleep, as they encourage stillness. These dreams can be vivid and easy to remember because we are in a relaxed state before bed," says Nicole Bowman, a certified dream analyst and Keen advisor. "Whereas, when we go to bed in a chaotic state, our dreams may be disjointed and difficult to recall, or we may not be able to sleep at all."
How do you know when it’s significant that you’ve dreamt about someone and when it means nothing?
It’s no secret that of the many dreams you may have throughout the night, you’ll typically only remember one or two, if any. As Bowman points out, "significant dreams are the ones you can’t forget—the ones you remember in great detail even after years pass."
But beyond that, it really goes back to what you believe and feel is significant. "This is one of those ways dreamwork often shows up in therapy: a client has a dream that leaves them feeling distress or confusion in such a way they need help unpacking the feeling," Jeffrey says. "We can find out whether a dream is significant or not when we are deciphering meaning by exploring and unpacking our feelings around the event or image." So, even if at the end of the day, you decide the dream means nothing, you’re still processing the feelings that surround it.
What does it mean when you dream about an ex?
Dreaming about an ex can signify any number of things, depending on your specific circumstances, but it can often mean that you have unfinished business. "Sometimes, the dream is about getting the closure you did not receive [in waking life]. If they were emotionally immature or dishonest, the dream may offer a resolution that they couldn't provide," Bowman explains.
It’s also possible, she says, that an ex may appear in your dream because they’re thinking of you, whether because they want you back or are simply reminiscing on your relationship. But, if you're thinking about sending a "Noticed you were trying to reach me telekinetically" text the next day, you should probably just let sleeping dogs lie. They're your ex for a reason—best to keep it that way.
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